he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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