Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
