Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
