This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize