jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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