Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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