You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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