I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
