I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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