Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
