sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
ugly people sure do ruin things
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
