i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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