Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just invented taco cereal.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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