dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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