"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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