I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
