I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
