Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
