I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i believe in u and ur pee
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
