cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
