Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I bet he comes in French.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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