I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
