They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
