Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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