Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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