last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
