I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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