Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
