Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
