so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
handjob tips. give me some.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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