you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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