Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
