It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
