who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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