yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
