Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
