Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
