So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize