Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
