Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
