we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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