so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
