So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize