No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
