you guys were way drunker than both of me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
