Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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