how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
