You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
