we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize