Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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