i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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