the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
