I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
