Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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