i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
