so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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