Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
