and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
