Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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