How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
