ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
