grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
too bad you live with your parents still
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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