i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize