I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
