Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize